Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Europe
Europe: Where pissing in public is not only cool but memorialized by a statue in Brussels. This place is awesome. See you Grundles in a few days/recruiting violations. By the way: Matt, do some fucking work cause I sent a link to the blog to your boss. Petersen, fuck the celts you can always pick a new team next year. Dope, you're probably sitting on the couch with your laptop. Jim, stop driving. Kyle and Andy, Vegas baby, Vegas. James your jeans are probably too tight right now but I respect that. Kevin, I got hammed the other night and forgot to turn on my bicycle light, when will we ever learn? Keep on rockin in the free world.
P Mount
Thursday, May 21, 2009
This just in...
On the Sports Animal, Kiffin is talking about the latest recruiting twitter violation bullshit, and he says...
"Who knows...I just might commit another recruiting violation in the next 30 minutes."
This man does not give a fuck what people think about him and I absolutely fucking love it. Sometimes, when I think of where our football program is heading, I notice a certain, beloved appendage of mine rapidly transforming from six to midnight, which I am not embarrassed in the least to admit. Really, I've had a raging boner (or pulsating swollen tip I guess would more appropriately describe what is currently going on in my pants) since he put this coaching staff together and for the love of fuck I hope it never goes away.
More after lunch
PS lets get drunk tonight.
"Who knows...I just might commit another recruiting violation in the next 30 minutes."
This man does not give a fuck what people think about him and I absolutely fucking love it. Sometimes, when I think of where our football program is heading, I notice a certain, beloved appendage of mine rapidly transforming from six to midnight, which I am not embarrassed in the least to admit. Really, I've had a raging boner (or pulsating swollen tip I guess would more appropriately describe what is currently going on in my pants) since he put this coaching staff together and for the love of fuck I hope it never goes away.
More after lunch
PS lets get drunk tonight.
I am so busy right now...
So Mike told me about this site called textsfromlastnight.com, which turns out to be a hilarious site. I have taken time out of my busy day, pushed the loads of work I have to do aside, all to post my favorites from this hidden gem of a website. Enjoy, fuckers.
(214): I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
(1-214): Mike i'm at church right now...
(850): it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
(773): I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
(202): On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
(703): It's the American dream
(570): So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
(330): I don't know you.
(206): I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
(425): There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
(509): woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
(636): Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
(310): he wants to bone in the snuggie
(972): so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.(214): so how much did i say i owed you?
(972): $5 and a new fuck buddy.
(570): She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
(301): i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
(810): Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
(616): What?!?
(810): What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
(302): it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
(612): hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
(651): who is this?
(612): jesse's little brother
(209): yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
(212): i want you now
(916): you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
(216): Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
(440): Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
(216): Holy shit r u serious? How?
(440): Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
(404): one word: firstdatebathroomanal
(508): I'm so horny!
(781): I'm so hungry
(508): WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
(781): For your pussy...
(317): I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
(513): A man dyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline
terrified
(403): she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
(803): My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
(636): dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
(1-636): when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
(312): She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from Charlie Brown!
(843): Nice meating you last night
(843): Not a typo
(352): So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
(570): why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
(1-570): you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
yea! that took a good hour and a half out of my day. there are many more to read, but I want to switch and read the MB for a while.
stay thirsty, my friends.
(214): I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
(1-214): Mike i'm at church right now...
(850): it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
(773): I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
(202): On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
(703): It's the American dream
(570): So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
(330): I don't know you.
(206): I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
(425): There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
(509): woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
(636): Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
(310): he wants to bone in the snuggie
(972): so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.(214): so how much did i say i owed you?
(972): $5 and a new fuck buddy.
(570): She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
(301): i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
(810): Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
(616): What?!?
(810): What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
(302): it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
(612): hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
(651): who is this?
(612): jesse's little brother
(209): yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
(212): i want you now
(916): you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
(216): Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
(440): Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
(216): Holy shit r u serious? How?
(440): Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
(404): one word: firstdatebathroomanal
(508): I'm so horny!
(781): I'm so hungry
(508): WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
(781): For your pussy...
(317): I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
(513): A man dyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline
terrified
(403): she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
(803): My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
(636): dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
(1-636): when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
(312): She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from Charlie Brown!
(843): Nice meating you last night
(843): Not a typo
(352): So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
(570): why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
(1-570): you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
yea! that took a good hour and a half out of my day. there are many more to read, but I want to switch and read the MB for a while.
stay thirsty, my friends.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Germany
After one night in Germany and a mixture of mind altering substances I have determined that Europe rules. It's about $7 for 24 liter bottles of beer. Keep in mind that 12 12 oz Buschginas are $9. And the girls here are twice as stupid and thus twice as likely to fellate me. Not to mention the term "beer in hand at all times" applies here literally.
Today's agenda: checking out the nearest brothel.
More to come from across the pond...
P Mount
Today's agenda: checking out the nearest brothel.
More to come from across the pond...
P Mount
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
THE GRUNDLE IS ALIVE
The first post in 11 days, quite pathetic. Just wanted to let all those Grundle Mansion followers out there (and I know there is atleast 4 of you) that we're still alive and have not died do to over drinking/swine flu/AIDS/finals/big head syndrome/restless limbs syndrome/elephantiasis of the male genitalia/beer pong/playoffs/being absolute studs. And as the Grundle Mansion travels all over the world this month, streching ever corner of the Grundle Globe...from the Furry Tip of the Grand Canyon to the Massive Long Thick Shaft of Massachuessetts to the Saggy Salty Balls of Florida to the Dirty Asshole of Germany...many posts shall be had and stories told. So Enjoy.
Friday, May 1, 2009
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